Dear Justice

The Mainstream
Published November 2, 2011

Dear justice,

I have two roommates and we all share a bathroom. I have been buying toilet paper for a long time without any contribution from my other roomies'. So, finally I decided to put my toilet paper in my designated drawer (In our bathroom we have a cabinet with three drawers, one for each of us.) and let them fend for themselves. I didn't think much of it until a week later when I noticed neither one of them had brought any TP into the bathroom. I figured that they too had just bought their own and were keeping it elsewhere. Recently I noticed my paper has been magically disappearing. I did a little test to see if I was going crazy.  I tore an edge of the corner and sure enough when I returned to my beloved toilet paper my edge had turned into a perfect tear and strategically placed back where it belonged in my drawer. It is no longer just an issue of who is paying for toilet paper, but also an issue that one or more of my roommates are snooping through my stuff. I've thought about placing a note in my drawer that says “Buy your own!” I just hate confrontation. Help!

Frustrated in Roseburg

Dear Frustrated,

I understand that you hate confrontation, but if you don't stand up for yourself you're going to have even harder issues to deal with than just who buys the TP. What you need to do is have a face-to-face conversation (NO NOTES!!!) with both of your roommates. Tell them directly that you are no longer able to pay for and provide toilet paper for them and that they need to get their own. Then keep your toilet paper in your room and carry it to the bathroom when you need it. They'll get the point when they're sitting on the John. Another option would be to have everyone chip in a few bucks, go to Costco and buy an entire flat of the stuff. That should cover you all for a while. If you do choose to pitch in for a bulk supply, try this trick used in public restrooms.   Simply bend the toilet paper roll flatter, so that it's more like this shape: <> than a perfect O. making the paper harder to roll. People use less that way .Good luck!

Justice